Through many of the email enquiries I received, when I ask them what is the challenge they are facing with their existing wardrobe, their reply would be “I can never find anything that suits me!” A statement that embodies the frustration when you received a call to dress up for an occasion, or perhaps your annual goal to upgrade your look but nothing ever seems to look right. It feels like you have nothing to wear! As much as you try to replicate the looks through magazines and online shops, it felt like a hit-and-miss attempt. You do not feel confident or well-dressed, as if the clothes were not made for you.
If “nothing ever suits me” resonates with you, I have good news for you. The breakthrough to this frustrating statement is not difficult. The first step to the fix is to identify what would likely be the root cause in your situation. It could be either one or both of the following: (1) confidence problems or (2) you have not found your personal style.
Root Cause: Lack of Confidence
What we wear is closely tied to how we look. More importantly, how we feel about ourselves. If you are not happy with your body or your looks in general, you will not like what you see in the mirror, regardless of how great the outfit is. Your negative body image is limiting the potential for you to enjoy life and live out who you are.
The sticky challenge with lack of confidence is, you believe that if someone could just show you how to shop, show you the specific cuts and colours that suits you, and you would immediately look and feel great. Yes, it is true that there will be a range of colours and styles that you would look exceptionally great in (and you feel good about it!), however, that will not solve the root of the problem. The perceived image of your external image is changed only when the internal self-image is changed.
I wholeheartedly believe when you start loving the first image you see in the mirror everyday, you nurture a confidence in pursuing what your inner-self is telling you to do. It is not about impressing but expressing and showing self-love for who you are. Focus on your strengths and positive qualities about yourself. Take time to celebrate your successes, do things you love and spend time with people who matters to you. Know that there may be imperfections, but it does not define who you are. It is what that is inside of you that defines what you want to wear and how you want to lead your life.
Root Cause: Have Not Found Your Personal Style
If confidence is not an issue but you still find it ridiculously difficult to put together outfits you truly like, then you haven't found your personal style yet, plain and simple. It is probably a lot easier to identify styles you do not like than styles you truly like. Past experiences or the environment you are in, impacts the style choices you make. It is not something that can be picked up overnight, but it takes time to discover and develop.
The solution to develop your own personal style takes practice. The best place to start is to look at your own wardrobe and start identifying details such as fabric, silhouettes, colours, formality of outfits, etc. Research through fashion magazines, blogs or online shops and highlight the styles that speaks to you. Once you are able to recognize your style on other people (or references), and pin point your exact likes, the next step is to replicate it on yourself. Alternatively you may get a copy of my free ebook “Look Stylish for Less” where it contains a step-by-step worksheet to help you discover your personal style. Give yourself time and keep practicing till the image of your personal style becomes crystal clear to you.
There is no wardrobe emergency that cannot be fixed. If personal style is new to you, you may be interested to read my blog “Why Dressing Your Style Personality Is Really Worth It”.
What would be your next steps to deal with “nothing ever suits me”?
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If you would like to breakthrough from your wardrobe frustration and step into your True Style Personality, drop me a chat (firstname.lastname@example.org) or simply follow me on INSTAGRAM for style inspirations.